HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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