: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
