I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this just has baby written all over it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
