I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
