Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
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My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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