He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
