ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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