Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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