Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize