That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
