The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
