so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
