I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
