i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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