Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
