Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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