Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i love accidental penises.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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