oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
