is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
