I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I will be naked everywhere
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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