I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
