thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
