Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
