hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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