Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
