can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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