I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
