Im at strip club and am horny
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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