I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
