Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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