You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
