I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
