i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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