i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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