i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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