I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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