I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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