the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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