There is no way he is gay with that hair.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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