Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
