I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
