She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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