yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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