its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My life is pants optional.
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