I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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