Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
