Don't you send me to vm
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
