How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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