Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
