im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
