Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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