ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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