so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
