Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
