I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He better not be in your backpack
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
