Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
