Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have tasted many bathrooms
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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